What flowers do you want at your funeral?
- blueskydreamsco
- Nov 3, 2023
- 2 min read
Seems like an odd question right? Not one that many people think about, let alone discuss with others. In fact, in our society it is rare that we talk about death, especially our own. My experience has been that we somehow think that if we do not talk about it, it won't happen. Which we all know is not true, our death is one of the only guarantees we have in life. Yet, we spend very little time thinking about or planning for it.
I have worked in hospice for the last 15 years of my career. Death is a daily topic that I discuss with patients, their families and caregivers and my teams of hospice professionals. I have seen a variety of situations in regards to end-of-life plans. Some very elaborate and well thought out and some that have never been spoken about. Fortunately in hospice we have social workers on our teams of professionals and they discuss this topic with our patients and families. If the patient/family have no current plan, the social worker provides resources and can assist in ensuring that a plan is made and communicated which is the second most important component. In 2022, the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) published their 2022 NHPCO Facts and Figures report on their website. They shared that "in 2020 only 47.8% of Medicare decedents died under hospice care". This means that more than 50% of the Medicare population did not have a hospice social work resource when they died and likely were not encourage to make or share their end-of-life plan or arrangements.
According to a survey by the Funeral and Memorial Information Council, "while 69% of American adults want to arrange their own funerals, on 17% have put plans in place". So what is holding us back? Is it information? Is it resources? Is it fear? Maybe a combination of all three? Let's start small so that we do not get overwhelmed, but let's start! I encourage you to take out a piece of paper or start a note on your phone and begin by writing down the top 3 things that you would want your loved ones to know when you die (add a fourth one that includes what flower you want at your funeral, this can be a simple conversation starter). Then, I want you to share those 3 things with your loved ones. It's a start to a very important conversation and you may be surprised at what evolves from you simply sharing with them what flowers you want at your funeral.
I encourage you to Leave your Legacy in Writing!
~A
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